Friday: Roadshow at Kallang Sector. Industrial area. Must walk up a slope before reaching the destination. A person like me who has not been regularly exercising was panting like a mad dog and desperately asking my colleague Daniel to wait for me though we were already almost late. *geez* Work till evening and my original plan after work was to meet up with him. He didn't reply my sms. Only managed to call me after I knocked off and to my horror he was already occupied for the night. He asked me to go home first and perhaps join him if he clubs later at night. Did as I was told since no one else wanted to go out with me. *sobs badly* Even my Hwee was already back home and did not want to come out again. Spent the night surfing and surfing the net. Sms-ed him at 10 plus to see if he was clubbing. Yes he did go. But by the time we exchanged the sms-es I had already missed my last train to town. Dammit. So forget it I gave up the idea of joining him cause I didn't want to waste the cab fare to and fro. Was still constantly sms-ing him till he started blabbering some nonsense. Needless to say, he was drunk. Called me at 2plus while he was on his way home and chatted till he reached home. On the other line of my phone was his friend who clubbed together with him. Strange enough they lost each other even though they were supposed to be together. And both started talking nonsense when they called me. *faints*

Saturday: Spent the whole afternoon rotting at home after coming back from tuition. Went out for dinner with Roy at Nooch followed by coffee at Cafe Cartel. Was supposed to join Justin at Dbl o but Mylene last minute sms-ed me to ask me to Club Momo. I was rather reluctant to go Momo cause I kind of know I will not enjoy the music there. But don't know what happen to me that I chose Momo instead of Dbl o. So off I went to meet Mylene, Cylene and two of Cylene's friends. Jamie and Lynn if I didn't remember the names wrongly. *blush* On our way walking there Mylene asked if my new shoes will bite. I proudly told her no and it was quite comfy. Soon after we reached, an idiot puked on the floor causing the whatever disgusting stuff to spill on our legs. Luckily I was standing at the back and didn't received much of the gift. So all the five girls stormed off into the toilet and frantically wiping all those things off our feet and shoes. We proceeded on to the dance floor after that and as I had expected, the music SUCKS. I really regretted giving Momo a second chance and wasted my precious 15 bucks. All of us were bored there. And guess what. It was not long after that we decided to go Dbl o. But it wasn't my idea I swear!!! But of course I gladly agreed. We walked from Momo to Dbl o. My feet started to hurt and blisters started forming. All thanks to Mylene's curse. To our dismay, one of the girls were underaged and could not get into the club. Frankly speaking, I did not know the minimum age to enter cause I have long passed the era where I have to worry about being able to enter clubs or not. Too bad Ben and his gang were not there, if not, we would have entered with ease without having to queue or check IDs. Seeked help from Justin. Managed to let the door host to let the girl in but by the time she was already not in the mood to club. So Mylene they all went off since they all stay around the same area. And I went in to club with Justin and his friends. I reached there too late. At about 2am. No more retro for me. *bored*

Sunday: Went to watch Bewitched with Justin and followed by a dinner at Crystal Jade. Ahem... So embarrassed to let him treat cause I am really really broke...

Monday: Don't know why I keep thinking that it's Tuesday today. I am getting a little cranky I think. Perhaps subconsciously I can't wait for Wednesday to come. *hehe*

Got a shocked of my life seeing someone's name in my phone's inbox when my message tone rang. I thought he would never ever message me again. Or perhaps he would have deleted my number away. I was suprised to see his name appearing. Shook my eyes in disbelief. Open the message with tons of question marks in my mind. What the hell was in the message? Actually, it was just a mass send sms to vote for something. But he can opt me out of the list to be sms-ed if he really want to cut of contact with me since a few months back. That's why I am so shocked. Shocked to know that he didn't delete my number away too. I used to get pleased when I received smses from him. Not anymore. Are we still friends? Shrugs. I don't know. It is not a major concern now either though it used to be.

I am feeling fatigue these 2 days. Only slept a total of 9 hours for the past 2 nights. And woke up early for work. I am going to sleep early tonight. Can't stand the tiredness aanymore. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day for me at work again.

The feeling of bankruptcy sucks. Anyone to donate me some money for survival? Haiz...

Now I offically declare to the world that I am BANKRUPT. Down to the very last 20 bucks in my bank account which I need it for EZ-link top up for the rest of the week. I got absolutely no money to eat or spend. Thanks to my ultimate bad luck casted on Saturday. Lost in mahjong lar. Don't even wish to talk about it. Guess I won't play it for a period of time. Burnt my hand liao.

My last shopping grab for this period is a pair of VNC wedge shows (Super pretty!!!) and a black sleeveless top from Pepperplus. I was supposed to wait for Alan on Friday coz I asked him out at the very last minute. So I waited for him in town. Went shopping alone and gosh... Everywhere was having sale!!! Don't know why. That's why I bought the top. 50% discount and the quality of the fabric is good! Sales always cause me to spend extra money but if you restrict youself not to buy you will feel that you would have let youself down. Marketing tactic. But I fell for it without fail everytime...

Luckily HE called me up to chat and saved me from creating further damages to my pocket. I sat down outside Ngee Ann City and hogged on the phone with him for more than an hour. Till Alan arrived. *hehe*

Went for a movie after dinner. Valiant. Was okay quite a funny and cute show. But was too short. Think it was only slightly more than one hour.

I still have not watched The Maid and Bewitched. My goodness so many good shows up recently.

Oh by the way I think I forgot. I have found a part time job 2 weeks ago. Starhub Corporate Roadshows. Nice job. Nice people. Just sit down and fill up application forms and answer some enquiries. But sometimes hours can be quite short and you don't get to work everyday. For this week, schedule is quite packed as I get to work everyday from Tuesday to Friday. It's gonna be a busy week for me. Finally there is something to keep me occupied instead of idling at home all day. *laughs*

I am still a happy girl. Hee... He still cares about me...

There had never been a worse Mambo as compared to Wednesday. Actually didn't plan to go but Alan offered me a fantastic deal and I got tempted. Fetching me to and fro plus going town for dinner. *hehe* So in the end, I tried tempting Phyllis to go too and I succeeded.

But god was not with me that day. Once I reached town, I felt a little weird and my throat was slightly painful. Didn't bother much and proceeded to had my dinner. After dinner while sitting down for a coffee (actually I did had it but the rest did. Was too full.), I gradually felt abit sick and it was when I remembered that I was totally drenched in the rain like a wet chicken in the afternoon. Must be the stupid rain that caused me to feel sick. Nonetheless, I still insisted to going Mambo. I felt freaking cold inside Zouk and moving to a warmer spot didn't help much. Music was CMI during the earlier of the night and it made me feel so regretful going there and making myself felt more sickly.

Then, a super duper idiotic man came and stood very near me. I was standing on one of the steps beside the ladies platform and he was just directly behind me on the same step. So, since the music sucks anyway, I just leaned against the platform and showed him my irritated face. I don't if he was stupid not to get the hint or thick-skinned enough to ignore it, he went on to stand beside Phyllis together with his friend. Then I whispered to Liz, I was already in a foul mood so he had better not agitate me. To my dismay, he came and stand right in front of me. I threw him a few disgusted looks (simply to diao him lar) but he still didn't backed off. Worse, he tried to make a conversation with me. Before words came out of his mouth, I threw him the ultimate disgusted diao and turned my whole body away from him and faced Liz. Then Liz say she saw her friend on the dance floor so we just left the steps to find her friend. And that super duper irritating man still didn't give up but followed us closely behind as we squeezed through the crowd. Damn irritating right! But by the time we made our way to the dance floor, Liz said she was not confirmed that it was her friend so didn't dare to call out to him. To avoid the constant taunting from that stupid fellow, we seeked help from Alan who was on the centre platform. That man backed off once he saw us talking to a guy. Finally shaked him off!

So happily me and Liz settled on the dancefloor until we realised yet another irritaing ang-moh trying to dance with a group of girls beside us. That's not a bad thing. The bad thing was he stinked badly! Both of us could not stand the smell and we decided to moved off to the other corner. But the music there was blasting off our ears and we decided to move again in search of a better spot.

Suddenly, I felt a hand going into my top from the bottom touching me from the left side of my waist to the right. Immediately I held the f**king hand and turned around to see that f**ker. I was fuming and I pushed him and scolded whatever that came into my mind. He did nothing and said nothing but looked at me with the sicko face. KNNBCCB bloody hell. He put his hand inside my clothes!!! I felt so gross and disgusted and angry and whatever! I was so heated up that two of the f**ker's friends came to interfere. One said he was drunk. When you are drunk it gives you the right to touch any girl you see. F**k you! The other kept saying sorry. Does sorry helps if I stabbed you and say "Oh I am sorry to have stabbed you". Would you accept it?

I was already feeling rather feverish but bloody incident made me more sick. I stormed off to complained to Alan. He asked if I wanted to call the bouncer. I reluctantly said no even though my blood was boiling at higher than 100 degree celsius. You know why? Cause I was afraid that I might miss Summer Rain once I got out of Zouk. Haha. Scold me bah...

Well, Summer Rain did came out in the end but music wasn't that great. Perhaps due to my sickness and the bloody idiot. And for the first time in my life that I felt the dry ice blowing at Zouk was damn icy. I could not stand it. Shivered everytime the dry ice came blowing.

Went to Shell to have a drink with Liz, Alan and Chris and the rest of their friends. Talked for quite awhile before Alan fetched both Liz and me home. Covered myself with blanket throughout the night (or rather morning) and woke up on Thursday afternoon feeling super dizzy.

But I am alright now. Fever has gone. I am a healthy girl again! But I still feel so angry as regards to the touching incident. Better don't let me see him around in Zouk again or else I will make sure he suffers.


I am feeling a little down these few days. Maybe it's because I think too much and being over sensitive to have started imagining and picturing things. But it is not me who wants to feel this way, it is the situation that makes me feel this way. Clearly I know that I musn't and shouldn't let myself get sad and hurt again. But... Sigh... Never mind, I am taking things easy and I wouldn't let myself be sad again.

How I wish one day my prince will come and pick me up. I am an isolated poor lonely princess lost in the thick dense woods wandering aimlessly. When will my prince find me with his horse and picked me up into his castle? Will such a fairytale ever happen to me?

Still waiting for that prince to save me out of the horrible dense woods.

Gonna keep this entry short and sweet. Hafta rush to tuitions later.

It's the final compeition for both the male and female category for Project Superstar tonight. Who will emerge as the winner for male and female?
It's Junyang vs Kelvin
And Kelly vs Xinhui

I have almost gotten over the grieve of the fact that Derrick is out. He caught my attention even before the 24 contestants were choosen. I like his vocal. I like his image. I like the way he smiles.

Oh back to the finalist.
For the males, I sincerely hope the Junyang will win. His voice is good. I admit that his voice is better than that of Derrick's. And in every of his performance there really seems to be little flaws. As for Kelvin, no offence but I really think that his vocal is only so-so. No doubt it is better than many of us but I think among all the contestants there are quite a few who have better vocal than him, just that their skills of singing ain't enough. Yes indeed it is impressive that a visually handicapped person can sing this well. But now we are not comparing to that of those who are also visually handicapped. This point should not be a factor to be considered in judging his performance. I realised that he has a strong group of loyal supporters but come on, do these people really admire his singing potential? Or because they are taken in and impressed that a handicapped person can sing. Forget the fact that Kelvin is visually handicapped. I really think that Junyang can sing better than him. Sorry if I sound crude and heartless here, but as a rational and fair audience, I really judge it this way.

As for the females, I used to support Kelly because I think that she can use different and right ways to present different songs and you will look forward to her performances. And she can really touch your heart when you listen to her singing. She is already one of the more outstanding star even before others were out. For Xinhui, I am really amazed by how fast she improves. I remembered there was once she sang Revolution. I think that sucks and I was in total surprise when she was in and she kicked Kelly out that time. But for the past 2 weeks, I dare say that she really sang well and her improvement is near to incredible. The power of her vocal is much better than Kelly's. The fight between the females will be one that is worth looking forward to. But I really don't know whose side I should be on. Both are good. Can't wait to catch their performances tommorrow night.

That's all I have to say regarding this competition. Gotta rush. Bye!

I think I have landed into a puddle of shit again. Just gotten out from a messy shit a few months back and on the road to 100% recovery. I am so glad that I am able to get over everything.

But I seems to be stepping into another mess unconsciously.

No doubt I am enjoying the care and attention that he is giving me. He is the one who keeps telling me not to skip meals and giving me constant reminders to take my medicine. And strange enough, I will obey him and take some time out of my busy schedule to catch a quick meal. Just because he told me to.

I like the way he cares for me, I like the way that he will think of me and give me a buzz just to have a little chat even when he is working.

He is not the kind who will sweet talk and bring you up to heaven. Instead, most of the time he will be talking to me in a harsh tone. But through all those scoldings, I can sense that he actually cares for me.

But he does not have any time for me at all. I don't know why. Perhaps he is really just so busy to even meet me up. The best he can is to call and talk to me everyday.

We did have a talk out a few days back. He said that he can't be with me. I can understand why. And I never expect him to do so to.

I know what I can ask for is not much. Neither do I have the right to ask for anything. I know where my stand is. I only need him to give me the care and attention. I really feel like seeing him at times but I can't have the chance.

Is this healthy? At this point in time, I like him and I am contented with the situation and how he is treating me. But I am afraid that I may fall deeper for him and unconsciously getting angry over things I should not be angry about.

Well, just a take step at a time and see how things are going.

I finally found out what has been bothering me and causing me so much disturbance since last Thursday.

Yes I have seeked professional help.

Yes I went to see a doctor.

Guess what?

Kana urine infection lar...

When asked by the doctor since when the pain started, I replied 5 days ago. She asked me with eyes wide-opened why after so many days then I came forward to seek help. I sheepishly told her that I thought the pain will go away. Actually there is a second part of the answer. I thought the pain will go away and so I don't have to waste money on seeing the doctor. Please don't slap me...

By the way, don't ever be mistaken.
Urine infection has got NOTHING to do with SEX and HYGEINE problem.
Nothing associating with these 2 factors. It is simply caused by not drinking sufficient water and holding your bladder. And girls are more likely to suffer from this urine infection. Get it? So don't start thinking about all those unrelated stuffs.

Feeling much better now after taking the medicine. The painkiller works. Panadol was too mild for me to have any effects.

So now I have to drink plenty of plain water and finding toilet as frequent as I can.

After seeing the doctor, Siew Hwee, Zhixiang and me headed down straight to the National Day countdown at Marina. The fireworks were beautiful. I love fireworks. But I felt like a super lightbulb tagging along. *geez* Then, we went to find Noelle, Keave and Gordon, and proceeded to Geylang for supper.

When we alighted from the car, we saw something interesting. There was a big notice on the entrance of a shop. Don't know it was a shop or pub or some association lar... Didn't really see properly . It was the notice that caught our eyes. The notice was imprinted on white colour board and red colour wordings. It goes something like this : Drugs are strictly not allowed in the premises... Blah blah...

But...

Drugs are not allowed anywhere isn't it? Not allowed in the country. It is against the law to carry drugs, apart from those medicine prescribe by doctors and morphine used in hospitals. So what purpose does the notice serves? *shrugs*

Actually I have alot of thoughts and things I want to say regarding National Day but well, kind of lazy to type them out now. Will do so when I have better mood. *hehe* Happy 40th birthday Singapore.

Aiyo... I was drunk yesterday... Not drunk lar... I was still sober... but high lar.

Charmaine saved me from boredom yesterday. She smsed me to see if I was at Dbl-o. Told her I was rotting at home and she offered me to join her and friends. So out I went to find her. Her friends were all friendly people but they kept asking me to drink and drink. After Charmaine and me managed to finish the jugs, they ordered more... Meanies! Don't know how much I drank but I self admit that I am not a good drinker. *laughs*

Charmaine's friend, Sarah(or Sara) was so cute. She was already high and kept shouting at people for nothing. The worse was she kept calling me Jasmine!!! Told her several times I am not Jasmine but Rachel. But the next time round she still called me Jasmine! *faints*

As for the music, I wonder yesterday was Retro Party anot. Alot of songs were not played. Or perhaps I missed them coz I reached there rather late. Songs like Love in the first degree, Call me, Bizzare Love Triangle... I didn't hear them. But at least got my Summer Rain. *hehe*

By 2 plus I could not make it already and made several trips to the toilet. To vomit! Damn paiseh to say it out. Oh me and Charmaine filled up a list to apply for don't know what Dbl-o girl card. I can't remember if I filled in my particulars correctly anot. Hope I did. But I also don't know what's the card for lar... As long as its free, no harm to sign up. Ya, I know I am very gian peng.

I think we took quite a number of photos. Will do some uploading if Charmaine sends me those photos.

Tummyache has been with me for several days already. Since Thursday I think. And it's getting worse. But I dun feel the urge to go toilet. The pain its like having an invisible force pushing ur abdomen until ur intentines gonna burst out. My goodness so painful... It's an on and off kinda thing, not very sharp pain but it's damn irritating. Anybody knows what's happening to me?

Feeling so freaking bored that I decided to blog again for the day.

My mum is busy practising Taiji Quan again. Her latest craze after Qi Gong. She is super into this Taiji nowadays lor. Everyday practise the strokes and stunts in the living room and makes sure that she gets them all correct. Besides joining her Taiji kakis every morning for practice, she went to buy VCDs on Taiji to see and learn somemore. Sometimes she will just try to make her body more flexible by bending her body here and there. Eg: lifting up one of her leg and trying to point the ankle to the hip bone. Or doing sit and reach trying to touch her toes with her fingers.

At first when she tried doing all those funny stunts, she would be there yelling and screaming and complaining how painful it was. I just glared at her and said: Mi ar, no one ask you to torture yourself what. What a good daughter I am ya?

Now she can bend here and there. And she will ya ya papaya and shout out at me: "Oei I can like that leh. You can anot? See? I can like this like this and like that like that liao leh." Everytime I will just looked at her and rolled my eyes. Then continued to surf my net or watch TV.

Apart from flaunting how flexible her body can be, she also often comes up to me and let me see how loose her pants are now and rattling about how much she has slimmed down. My mum's so hao lian right? The most funny thing is she even encouraged me to join her for Taiji so I can slim down. I was like... WTH!!! Can't imagine myself playing Taiji with all those aunties at the park every morning. Stop laughing. This will never happen.

Mummy has been going to lots of KTV sessions and Kopi sessions with her Taiji Kakis. Sometimes even short shopping trips. And always telling me when and when she is going out with her friends. My mum's behaving more and more like a Tai-Tai ya? *rolled my eyes*

I got back my IC!!!
Yippee! Yeah!! Hooray!!!
Can't describe how delighted I am right now. No words can ever describe. It's that kind of happy until jump up the ceiling kind. Hohoho...

Guess what?
Policemen came knocking on my door just now and return my IC. My mum got a shock of her life to see 3 policemen at my doorstep. I wasn't at home. So the policemen gave my IC to my mum and told her police had found my IC.

I am such a lucky bimbo ya?
Who ever can lost IC on expressway and still manage to get it back? Lalala...
(In the first place who will drop IC along expressway?)

But my mum also found out I lost my IC and immediately called to scold the hell out of me. Kept nagging and nagging about how lucky I was to have police picking up my IC instead of those money desperados and borrowing money from many loansharks with the use of my IC. And how terrible it would be if many many teams of loansharks will to come up to our house and spray whatever.

My mum got a wild imagination hor? Watched too much drama serials and news lar... But I was prepared for the worst as well that's why I went to report lost of my IC what... Even though I was being forced to.

Believe it anot... Actually I got a very strong feeling that my IC will come back to me. That's why I keep procrastinating about going ICA for a replacement. My feeling came true. I am just so happy. Never mind about my mum's constant nagging. The joy is enough to compensate that.

I am gonna say it again. I am so so so so so happy. I saved $100. I got back something that I supposedly lost and had been with me for 10 years. Walalalala... I simply love Singapore Police Force.

Oh my gosh I didn't blog for such a long time... Pardon me for my disappearance. I am not busy, I am just being plain lazy. *blush*

Ok updates...
The most terrible thing that happened to me was losing my IC. Everyone treat it as a joke and laughed at me, no one actually came and console me. Pathetic.
Went Zouk on Wednesday and Weilie came to fetch me home. I was wearing a mini-skirt and I didn't bring a bag. So, I just stuffed all my cards (IC, 2 ez-link cards and debit card) into my back pocket which apparently was too shallow. I don't know why I wore a skirt. I have never wear skirt to Zouk before. I don't know why I didn't bring bag. Usually I would bring a bag when I club. So, all my cards dropped off while I was on Weilie's bike. When I discovered it, we were already near my house and the only thing left in my pocket was my debit card and 2 ten-dollar notes. I screamed in horror and told Weilie what had happened.

Instead of consoling me, he was there scolding me and saying how dumb and stupid I was for not checking my back pocket before I climbed onto the bike. I reached home full with sadness and told Alan the whole incident. He laughed at me and say me stupid! And also asked me why I didn't take out all my cards.

My explanation: Eh I not guy leh, how will I have the habit of checking my back pockets? And I forgot that I had put cards in my pocket what...

Ok lar I admit to a certain extent that I am dumb and careless...

On Saturday, Ben asked if I had reported lost of my IC. I replied no and the group die die drove me to the police station. While in the police station, this was the scenario.

Policeman1: (Taking down my statement) You lost your wallet or just the IC?
Rachel: Only IC
Policeman1: Your IC number?
Rachel: S837****E
Policeman1: Your name is Toh Siau Wei right?
Rachel: Yes
Policeman1: Your house number and handphone number?
Rachel: 6758 **** and 90** 4***
Policeman1: Time when you discovered loss of IC?
Rachel: Thursday morning about 3 plus
Policeman1: Where did you lose your IC?
Rachel: Erm... CTE
Policeman1: *bewildered* CTE?
Policeman2: *burst out laughing* U dropped your IC along CTE? Hahaha...
Policeman1: discretely smiled to himself

I was sooooo embarrassed and I looked at Ben for some comfort. There I found him laughing so happily that I almost cant find his eyes.

Dropping IC along CTE very funny meh?

Oh oh I am feeling so happy now. But I can't tell you why. Not exactly really happy but it's enough to make me joyful. Hope it doesn't turn out to be a disaster and my joyfulness is not short-lived.